It seems like we live in threatening times. People today operate at a high level of “threat focus” due to the violence and uncertainty in our world. The coping skills we learn when we move through painful periods in our personal lives can also be applied to the risks we perceive nationally and globally. We can develop inner resiliency.
Do you ever wonder “Why me?” Why did my heart get broken? Why did my loved one die? Why did I lose the job, or the baby, or the house? One of the traits of resilient people is that they realize loss and pain are a part of life. This realization is important in several ways. It helps us release feelings of being discriminated against, or somehow singled out for suffering. We see that we can learn ways of moving through a period of grief while still living our lives. And we recognize that our life path often splits off into a new direction as a result of this experience.
Knowing that our thoughts create our mood, we can carefully choose to focus on what can be changed rather than those things we cannot control—we “tune in to the good.” This practice can be as simple as listing three things we are grateful for each night at bedtime. Sometimes this is called benefit finding. An Army program calls it “Hunt for the good stuff.”
When processing a loss, resilient people learn to put themselves first. They ask themselves, “Is what I’m doing helping or hurting me?” This includes thoughts, ruminating on pain in the past, and selecting the people and activities in their lives.
There are many names for resilience. I’ve heard it called grit, perseverance and coping. Some of us seem to know that we are naturally resilient. Others benefit from learning helpful skills.
Whatever is going on in your life, whatever is happening in the country, in the world, in the universe, remember that there is only God and God is only good. Our paths lead always into greater awareness of this and other eternal Truth. You are never alone. Through all of your travails, the Spirit of God guides and comforts you. And all is well.
Namaste,
Rev. Carla
To learn more, view “The Three Secrets of Resilient People” by Dr. Lucy Hone on YouTube